About the Avatar…
12/03/2006 § 1 Comment
…it’s a picture my good friend Ali (dawilli) took at my ‘personal’ bridal shower. It was kind of a ‘wear your pj’s/spa’ theme. My DD and I decided to get matching pink polka-dot flannel pj’s and put our hair in pig tails. It was kind of hard because our hair is so long so we double looped them so they would appear like little girls pig tails. We had soooo much fun! I was so blessed by all of my friends that were there and all of the pretty nighties I got and all the love going on in the room! It was just a great night all around and I was holding back tears the whole night.
For so long I was always the one looking on while others were blessed and now it was finally MY turn! It was hard years ago because I was so needy, lonely and broken. To be terribly honest, I was always jealous of others. It took a few years before I stopped feeling sorry for myself and actually enjoyed seeing others being blessed. I was so selfish because I wanted it to be me. I would put on the ‘I’m so happy for you’ face but inside I was sobbing for myself. I was so discouraged because of all that satan had robbed me of (beside all that I had given to him to destroy). It was so hard to see past the pain. I was sure there was no way my life would or could ever amount to anything more than just a measly exsistance. I would NEVER be THAT girl in the chair.
I can now say:WHAT A HUGE LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Over the years, Jesus has shown me more and more the awesome price He paid to redeem me from my past. The reality of His shed blood, the stripes that He suffered to bring me healing, it’s hard to swallow at times because I know how unworthy I am. I do not deserve it-but He has given it to me because of His great love for me. It took a few more years to go through the healing and dying to my selfish ambitions and laying it all down at the foot of the cross, then even after that I had to come to the place that I am at now.
I can now accept the truth that Jesus has so much for me in this life and that He wants to bless me with every spiritual blessing He can-for His ultimate glory. May I never treat that lightly, Lord! I want to live my life making sure that Jesus gets EVERYTHING He paid for on that day at Calvary. EVERYTHING!
Well, I guess I just needed to get that off of my chest! Thanks for sticking in there!
Thanks Ali for the great pic!