Only One Child to Train Dilemmas…

28/06/2006 § 8 Comments

I’m just wondering if there are any other moms with just 1 child out there? And is it a girl? It’s ok if you have a boy, it’s probably just as relevent.

It’s about the whole ‘socialization’ thing. Lovebug doesn’t have a lot of girls around that are her age and it’s really hard on her to not have a friend. We attend a wonderfully fabulous church, but it has a very small older youth population. Most of the children are 10 or younger. The majority being a few months to 4 yrs old or so. Lovebug is going to be 13 and the only other kid I can think of that age is a boy. The other girls are at least 15 and up, and there are only a few of them. There is a BIG difference between going-to-be 13 and 15 or 16. They are a pretty good influence on her and she knows them enough as a positive and safe peer group, but to have friends your own age-it’s different. You know, someone to call and hang out with. Someone who likes nice things and has a good solid foundation in their faith. Someone who believes the way we do about family and faith. The girls at our church are great, and they are like that, but their friendships are already established and they are the same age. They have been haging out for a few years now while Love was still a little kid. Lovebug is a young newcomer. You can tell the difference in maturity levels and interests. It’s just not the same.

We do go on a lot of field trips so she’s ‘getting out’ and ‘socializing’, but she has no close friends. I am seriously thinking of starting my own girls group at our church (Keepers of the Faith type thing) and opening it up to other area churches so she can meet other girls. I would have the age group be from 11-14 or something like that. I don’t know. I’m just not sure what to do. There’s no way on earth I would put her back in public school! There has to be something out there. Does anyone have any ideas? I’m desperate!



Traci  🙂



§ 8 Responses to Only One Child to Train Dilemmas…

  • Anonymous says:

    My kids found others that shared their interest in community classes. We have a couple area community centers and the YMCA was also a good place. the kids did things like acting, folk dancing, art, photography, nature, scrapbooking, ceramics….

    I also know families where scouting (and there are usually homeschooled or mostly homeschooled scouting groups) have been close to home and the girls have developed great long time friends that moved up each level together.

    The other thing we did when my middle dd wanted more friends was host a homeschool girls reading club. The girls read a book, usually one of the Royal Diraries Series, and then held a party themed on the book. So when they read Jahanara: Princess of Princesses, India, 1627 they threw a party where they all dressed in costume, ate Indian food, and played trivia games based on the book. They each brought a little gift they had made or bought that reminded them of the story and did a gift exchange just before leaving. It was neat to hear why they made or picked out what they did. The girls met once a month rotating the house. They would send out reminders in the form of an invitation based on the book about a week before.

    Good luck!Edited by KyMentor on 6.28.2006 at 15:35

  • Suzie says:

    I am just starting homeschooling my 4.5 year old son, so can’t offer a lot of advice… But I attended a HS conference in May and one of the talks was on HSing only one. DonnaC ( who posts here was the co-speaker and she was wonderful! (As was the other lady.) I bought her book on the subject and have really enjoyed reading it, though since we are ‘just’ starting out most of the ‘homeschooling only one’ hasn’t affected me yet. My DS is young – and very outgoing. He makes ‘new best friends’ wherever we go! I do take my DS to a private swimming place for lessons – they have open swim time in the fall, winter and spring – and I have noticed that there are two homeschooling groups that attend the open swim on Thursdays and Fridays. I do remember, too, that at the conference, they suggested that you get out and about in the early afternoon time – like to an art museum or the like – as that is when other homeschooling children may be out. They said, “Be bold. Strike up a conversation with them. You never know where it might lead.” I love the suggestion above for a book club or something. You can probably ask around at the public library – they should be very helpful – maybe even let you put up a sign or use a vacant room for a meeting place. My situation is that all my friends have girls and I have the only boy!! I did meet a lady recently with twin 3 year old boys – they are much younger – developmentally – than my son but my son got along great with them and the mother said my son was the only person who had been able to ‘get in with the twin bond.’ So – not my ideal boy playmate(s) for my son, but I think I will see how it works. I don’t mind my son playing with girls – in fact, he gets along great with them and loves ‘girl’ stuff – but he (and the girls) are getting more into the ‘that is a girl toy’ or ‘that is a boy toy.’
    Best wishes!

  • Canadagirl says:

    thinking of starting my own girls group at our church (Keepers of the Faith type thing) so she can meet other girls. I would have the age group be from 11-14 or something like that.

    That is a real good idea. If you do I would love to hear about it. I know what it feels like not really having good wise friends for our kids around. Wise friends are a good thing.

    I hope to see you around.
    In Him,

  • dawilli says:

    My best advise would be to be her best friend! Think of the pioneer days, those kids didn’t have next door neighbors, and many didn’t go to school, and even if they did they were busy there and they didn’t head home and start calling friends or e-mailing… sure, many had several siblings, but surely not all of them. That generation produced some of the strongest women I’ve ever read about, and I’ve read a bit…
    The bright side is that your daughter isn’t peer dependent! So many kids these days (especially girls) are!
    There’s a huge gap between me and my sisters, we were never close friends. I had some friends at school, but no close “best friends” until high school. Junior High can be a turbulent time and I would count it a blessing to have the better share of her devotion right about now. If she had a “best friend” or two this may end up a time that she would start turning to them to talk more than turning to you…
    So tie heart strings, maintain her respect and trust, and make yourself her absolute favorite person to ever want to spend any time with- be irresistable!
    Well, that’s the best I can do right now… but most importantly I might add- don’t worry about it, everybody’s life experiences are different and we’re all in the Lord’s hands, and that’s the best place to be, with or without any friends…
    enjoy her,

  • nothinbutgirls says:

    I appreciate you reading my blog as Im just getting started. I have three daughters and my youngest is 12. Its almost like she is an only child because their is nine years difference between my middle daughter and her. She is the only one that I homeschool at this time. I know how it is to find good friends and keep them. We attend church and she has just moved up to the youth department, so we will see how that goes. I wanted to tell you about a girls club that our homeschool co-op had this year. It was put out by Mission City Press and it goes along with the Elsie books. I dont know if you have ever heard of them. They are great and all Christian based. There is actually curriculum that you can buy that has stories, craft ideas, and food ideas that go along with each lesson. Our group really enjoyed it and we also did secret sister for about 6 months which they enjoyed. I hope you find what you would like to do and I will be praying for you as you search.

  • mamma1420 says: or google the words pen pal

    I had a friend in Ohio that was my pen pal all during Middle and High School, (Wouldn’t you like to see those letters?) I’m a military brat and we lived in military housing. If we weren’t moving, my friends were. I can relate. She can have a US pen pal and/or find one overseas. It could be like a mission assignment for the overseas pen pal. Just an idea…

  • jmj403 says:

    My oldest daughter was an only child for 8 years. She took lots of different types of lessons – horseback riding, art, drama, ballet. She also played soccer for a season or two. However, she never did find a friend that she could hang out with. I told her that God had a plan for her that just didn’t include friends at this time but to keep praying and her prayers would be answered. Believe it or not, the place she met her best friend during this time was when she was doing our state-mandated testing!!! I often remind her that God does answer your prayers – sometimes you just have to keep on asking!

    God Bless

  • frogiggie89 says:

    She could always e-mail my sister Ryann! Her e-mail is ryann @ (take out spaces). She is 12 1/2. She could even e-mail me (coie @ but I’m really bad at writing people back. 😛

    Has she got a blog? That would help her to find lots of online friends– that’s pretty much what my whole group of friends is composed of- cyber-friends. Cyber friends are mondo groovy. Because, well, you’re not shy online! And nobody thinks you look stuck up if you post a smiling picture of yourself.

    -Coie, who needs to work on her “smiling in public” skills.
    Because people only like girls with great skills. *grin*

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