05/12/2006 § 3 Comments
Boy is selfishness sneaky! It just creeps in under the door of our hearts and the next thing you know…BAM! You're eyes can't focus beyond yourself. All you can see is that your life isn't the way you want it. Your house could be so much nicer with this and you could be happier if you just had one of those and the rest of your world would be great if this would just happen and then your life would be PERFECT! Yeah, perfect…life would be better and easier then…yeah…
**RED ALERT*RED ALERT**
The enemy has infiltrated the camp! Open your eyes and see he, and our more-than-happy-to-indulge flesh, are up to no good! If we are focused on our own self, we can't be focused on Jesus, or anything/anyone else for that matter. We lose our functioning capabilites and we are no good for the Father to use. How can we be contributing members of the body if we are so absorbed with endlessly nursing our own wounds? Besides, the kids should be fed more than toast for all of their meals because you're wallowing in bed AGAIN because you've been deceived into thinking it's the only place of solace for your supposed 'grief'.
WAKE UP!!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!! Get on your knees and thank the Lord for the very breath you have and His mercy that has allowed you to take one more. Thank Him for His provision of the family you do have and the home you do have and all that exsists inside those walls. Thank Him for all the grace He has given you and the endless blessings of hope for a good future He has given to you as one of His children! Repent for all the time you've wasted having your pity party and for allowing selfishness to have its way with you. Repent for bowing before the altar of 'woe is me' and staying there for as long as you have. Ask the Lord to restore you unto Himself. To restore your relationships with family and friends. Ask Him to heal your broken heart so that you may see more clearly the schemes of the enemy. Ask Him to give you a heart of flesh that can feel, once again, for others. Give Him your sacrifice of a stony heart and praise Him for the good God He is. Praise Him for all that He has done and is going to do. Praise Him for His faithfulness and for the fact that He does know your needs and He is desiring and capable enough to make them come to pass in your life. Praise Him for He is good and His mercies will endure forever!
Now, pull off the covers, open the curtains and get dressed in a nice clean outfit. Go to the bathroom and wash your face, comb your hair and put on a bit of rouge. Look in the mirror and smile until the inside catches up and then you begin to laugh. If you begin to cry, let it be tears of joy and do not give in to tears of any other kind.
Go find your babies and one by one kiss and hold them each several times telling them how much you love them and how thankful to the Lord you are for them in your life. (If you have only one, this will be easier and you can take more time to do this.) Don't forget to apologize to them for the way you've been acting and ask for forgiveness. Allow for them to express their perception of things lately and do not correct them or try and justify your actions. Simply ask for forgivesness and nothing more. Except maybe for another hug!
Next, call your husband and tell him how much he means to you and that you love him more now than you ever have and that the Lord must really love you because He gave you the husband you have. Also tell him to have a nice day and assure him you are not under the influence of anything illegal-unless the realization of God's infinate love and hope are illegal where you live. (I pray it's not.)
Lastly, go back to living your life the way it is now and just keep on trying to do the best that you can. Don't be so hard on yourself and your family. God is not looking for perfection. He is looking for those who love Him with their whole hearts and will lean on His strength to carry them through. Will you be one of those?
Oh yeah, by the way, that list of 'Things that would make my life better'. Yeah, um it only gets longer and harder to fulfill, so just chuck it. Surrender it at the foot of the cross. In the light of eternity, it's a vapor-just like we are.
Thank you for reading this whole entry. I wrote this for myself mostly, as a sort of 'slap in the face' tactic to shake me out of a slump recently. I hope you've read this without getting offended. It's not my intent at all. It may seem harsh at points but sometimes I need the 'wake up call' to be sobering, so I can get back to life. Have you ever had one of those times?