For The Beloved
17/09/2010 § Leave a comment
|(photo courtesy of hubblesite.org)|
Have you ever had one of those months where there are all these things you are facing, thoughts and ideas trampling through your mind taking up bandwidth, emotions tugging at your heart this way and that, the voices of opinions and facts, truth and lies jamming the frequency you usually tune into to hear that sweet and tender sound of the Savior calling? Is it just me? Cause that’s where I am at. Sitting on my chair, trying to quiet the noise and slow down the speed of processing going on in my brain. I’d like a vacation please.
I like things neat and in their place. My lack of discipline often aggravates this part of me. In this case however, I’m sure it’s the Lord, trying to tell me something through all of the loud incessant multi-thought garble. I have had a chance to talk to my husband about some of the things and there was even a wonderfully precious phone conversation with a dear new friend that has helped. Honestly, I think this is just the tip of the ice berg. Even now, as I try to think of just one topic of thought, it all blurs into this puddle and the word ‘TILT’ is displayed on the video screen of my brain and I hear that old, familiar sound of the message you used to get from the operator that was so loud it would startle you, do you remember the one?
*beep, beep, beep* All circuits are busy at this time. If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again.” *beep, beep, beep*
The dogs just perked up their heads and are staring at me because I just laughed out loud at myself. “Oh, it was nothing. I’ll go back to sleep…” is the dialogue the expressions on their faces give me. I can relate to that. Part of me is wanting to do the same thing, just “go back to sleep”, what’s going on is ‘nothing’. And yet, I can’t shake the feeling I’m supposed to be learning something, growing in my convictions and understanding. No, I can’t just go back to sleep. I need to process. To keep processing. What helps me, when I don’t have someone to talk to, is I pray and I read the Word. I should add worship to that and maybe even start a journal…
What about you? What helps you process things? Have you had a time of ‘thought overload’? How did you get through it? What was the result? Conviction? Understanding? Awareness? Can you tell I’m curious? 🙂
In my prayer closet,