The Problem IS 'Socialization'

13/03/2007 § 4 Comments

I am very pleased with the progress Love has been making since we started our homeschooling adventure. There’s a lot more cooperation and a lot less attitude about us homeschooling in general. She is actually happy more frequently and looks forward to schooling… most days. It was such a fight at first! I could barely keep her on task and almost got a GPS for her so I would know where she ran off  to hide when I got distracted doing something else!

Through all of this I have had a lot of ‘rude awakenings’. I didn’t realize all the damage I was creating in my daughters life by just doing the ‘normal’ thing and having her in public school. I did want to homeschool, but as a single mom I didn’t think I had a whole lot of choice. Her being at public school allowed me to work so I could provide for us. Besides, that’s what we’re supposed to do, put them in school, right?

I can remember the first day of kindergarten. My little Princess all dressed up so sweet with her new dress and new shoes and her curls all in the right place…crying and pleading with me to not make her go. We took a picture that day and that’s exactly what she looks like. It breaks my heart to think about it. I felt awful, but public school was the next rite of passage in life, that’s just what came next, right? 

Well, hind-sight is surely 20/20 because I now realize she wasn’t more socially ‘ready’ just because she was more social than others. And she was definitely not mature enough to handle what was thrown at her socially. And now, our schools have recently changed the grade breakup into K-5 elementary, 6-8 middle school and they now have 9-12 for high school. She would be at the high school with kids way beyond her and I know that she would try to not try to try to emulate that. Did you catch that? Translated it means she would have such turmoil trying to fit in and then trying to not fit in because of her faith/convictions. She would be consumed enough with the ‘socialization roller coaster’ that she would have a hard time succeeding.  

I’m not sure if it’s the same for boys, but for girls school IS a social event. Kayla wouldn’t come home and tell me about the wonderful time she had learning about bugs or verbs or art class. She would come home crying and proceed to tell me all about how so-and-so said such-and-such, and how they were mean, and won’t be my friend… The ‘socialization’ was one of our biggest PROBLEMS! It affected her schoolwork because she was so worried about the ‘mean girls’ and if so-and-so liked her that day. She wasn’t worried about failing math as much as who said they would be her friend or not and fitting in. She even had girls tell her she’d fit in better by coloring her hair! Her beautiful blonde hair! People, I took her out the second half of 6th grade! These girls were serious and my little girl was believing these strangers. We’re talking 10 and 11 year olds! 

Even to this day she will tell me the only thing she says she misses about public school are the ‘friends’ she had there. I’ve talked to her about how they probably really weren’t her friends to begin with. I’ve mentioned they have changed over the years and she probably wouldn’t want to be friends with them. I do to talk to her about the difference between real friends and acquaintances and that the people she knew in public school would be under the ‘acquaintance’ category.

She occasionally does see some of the kids she knew in school around town. Mostly, they don’t really offer a lot, if anything really. They have gone on in life without her and some just kind of nod or wave, if that. It’s really sad for her, but I think she’s starting to understand more and let go. My poor baby. Sometimes I feel like I’m weaning her from the world’s system.

I write this to say I don’t want other moms to be constantly bombarded with this thought: ‘I wonder if it would have been different if I would have just kept them home?’

I thank you Lord, that she IS home now. Blossoming into a beautiful young lady who loves You and wants to glorify and honor You and her parents.

 

traci  🙂

P.S.The Lord’s grace, strength and protection were always there for us through this time. I am so grateful He provided a way for us to eventually homeschool and that I eventually found the courage to do it! 

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Stuck in the Middle…Ages that is!

19/09/2006 § 3 Comments

So we are still in the Middle Ages. I knew there was a lot of info to digest, but there's even more than I remember! I've decided to just go over the basics and we can study more on the side if Love's interested. She is really enjoying the Literature reading selection that TOG has in its curriculum. She's just devouring all the books. I have to pace her because we are waiting for the library to get the other books in!

 

We had another trip to the Kelley Farm and the theme was Threshing. We had such a great time! Love just dove right in and started helping w/the wheat bundles. After awhile of taking cute pics I jumped in as well. It was hard work, but it was very rewarding. There was chaff flying everywhere! Later we went into the house and Love helped make molasses pudding and icing for it. She was just all into it!

 

She has been blossoming  into a young lady so much lately. It has been so sweet to see. She has been helpful w/out asking, staying on task more, not as much attitude either. What a blessing! I have been firmly, gentle and pleasant. It is a retraining for me that's for sure. It is the exact opposite from how I grew up and what I learned. The Lord is so gracious to me though. He has been so faithful and I can see the fruit and the rewards from His promises to us. I am so filled w/peace knowing My Lord is with me and always available to me for every need.  

 

Well, the Homeschool adventure is not for the faint of heart, but even if you are, by the time a few years roll by, you won't be! I have been so blessed by this adventure and would not trade it for the world and all its supposed 'riches'. Thank you Dear Lord for this great opportunity! May I finish beautifully for Your Honor and Glory!

In Jesus' precious name, AMEN!

 

Blessings,

Traci 🙂

 

Real quick entry

27/04/2006 § 4 Comments

So, we just got back from the chiropractor and Lovebug had yet ANOTHER chance to shine AND wait 'til you hear what she said about homeschooling!

Ok, so Love is getting her back messaged and somehow they start talking about her hitting her patella or something-again. So, of course, like any good mother would do, I start to eavesdrop to see what is being said. (At this time I am enjoying MY message so it would have been hard to say anything anyway with my face burried in the table.) The therapist asks her what's your this and that called and one after another she gets them right! The lady even tries to trick Love and it doesn't phase her. She has given this info so many times now that she has the confidence she needs to answer her. Meanwhile others start to listen in and start to become impressed-and say so. Oh, how awesome is that!? Then, someone asks if she should be in school(that happens a lot)and she tells them that she is homeschooled and MY therapist says, “Oh you're lucky” or “that's great” or something to that effect to which my DD replies-are you ready?-“YEAH”!!!!!!!

My heart soared! We have been having this battle for awhile now and she has been resisting me about homeschooling a bit. We just started last year and she was in public school until 6th grade so that's all she knew to be 'normal'. It has taken a lot of diligence and prayer to come to this point but we are finally seeing some results!!!!!

Now, don't mistake what I'm saying. I have mostly always wanted to homeschool. I just wasn't able to as a single mother for so long. That, and it was scary and I felt so inadequate. I only have a GED from high school that I got 3 or so years AFTER I was out of school, and a little bit of other schooling. I was alone and even though a lot of people support it, it kinda depends on who you talk to-even in Christian circles. It took me a long time to even get my DH to even consider it as an option. Of course at the same time I was trying to convince myself I could do it. The desire was there, just not the confidence.

I'm also not saying there aren't other ways that God can use different types of education. I know some other bloggers that God has blessed through the school system. I do not want to sound like I'm limiting the Lord. Even when Lovebug was in public school there were Christian teachers and I know God had His hand on that. It's not ALL evil. But, I feel those cases are more exceptions than the rule. Mostly because of what we have gone through with my own DD.

We have always been big on Christian principles and ways of life. We have always been close. So why was my DD staring to pull away from me? Most of her sentences started with, “Well the other kids at school…,” or “That's not what my teacher…,” and so on. Not to mention the attitude. (I know that puberty plays a part in this too.) To put it bluntly, I was losing her. She was starting to care so much more about the latest this and that and so and so this and so and so does that, can I have one too… She stopped praying and could never find her Bible, let alone the disinterest.

It would have been different if it were things that were say 'neutral'. But these were things she knew we didn't allow or were opposed to that she now felt she could just ask me for. That, along with once she realized I was sure about my decisions, she started to not talk to me and keep secrets and ask her non-believing father for those things and priviledges. (Of course he would oblige.) It soon became our house: staunchy, no fun-no-frills-but-lots-of-rules Christian home and dad's house: fun, anything-goes-free-for-all-I-can-have-all-the-stuff-my-mom-won't-let-me-have. I literally had to wage war and contend for my daughter's soul both physically and spiritually. I'm tellin' ya, it just snowballs.

So, I know this got long and I apologize. Thank you to those who 'stuck it out' to the end. Please let me know if I haven't explained myself. I do intend to come back to this subject again-maybe not to this length! LOL!

Let me know what your thoughts are about this. Please forgive me if I have offended anyone. Sometimes my passion comes out wrong.

I pray for a fun and peaceful day for all of us. May the many facets of the Lord be evident to you today!

 

Traci 🙂

A little about this and that

25/04/2006 § 4 Comments

Oh my has it been that long since I posted? Wow, I'll have to do some catching up. I amy need a whole afternoon or something…oh well. LOL!

 

So, I have been in the process of changing my site and this HTML thing isn't so bad. A lot of it is logic-just simple 'if…then' figuring. That is until you really start to need to know what you really are doing. Then, the momentum just stops!

 

So, in other areas we are doing well. I have been drinking lots of water and have made it to 60oz a day or more!!!!! I will probably just retire my ticker for that so I can have less business on my site. Lovebug is doing well. I really have to update her tickers. She has been walking with out me too so she can be at the same number as mom. CUTE!

 

As far as school, we have been doing well in our Lifepacs and she seems to be flying through her math more. She continues to have excellent scores on her spelling. She 'wowed' DH's family on Sunday by naming all the major bones of the body-accuratly! She was so cool about it even correcting one of her uncles!!! They are a bunch of smart people-his dad an engineer, his younger brother in AP classes and going to become an architect, you get the idea…so it was a very thrilling moment for me-I was calm on the outside, doing jumping jacks on the inside-and I think it really boosted Love's confidence. It's so neat to see the rewards after the day-to-day struggles! 

 

Also, as time goes on since she was in public school the references and mindsets are starting to be a bit less. We have been praying so hard that these things would just continue to be but a faded momory. If I were to talk to anyone even thinking of homeschooling I would cousel them to start out homeschooling FIRST and then if ALL ELSE really, truly fails and you simply must, join a support group and try again! We have had a lot of hard times trying to get beyond the public school's influence. It is far better to just not go there. It wasn't possible for me to homeschool at first. I was a single mom and needed to work full time. But slowly the Lord started answering my prayers and now I am finally there. But oh, the deprogramming! And even though she know this is the better way, there is still that  weaning period because that is all she knew. I just thank the Lord that He provided a way to have her at home and at such a crucial time in her develpoment. She will spend her time at home now and oh, the peace that brings! Don't get me wrong, I know there will still be bumps in the road, but the peace of knowing I will be there and she will have ME to lean on and not others… It just makes you feel like they're safe. Now, I just have to work on ME!!!LOL!

 

Well, I just heard a “Mom, what's for lunch?” so I better skiddaddle. Hope you other mommies have a blessed day and thanks for being patient!!!!!

 

In His Love,

Traci 🙂

Just to clarify…

04/04/2006 § 5 Comments

Uh, yeah, so that last entry was actually me

multi-thinking. I was thinking

about how I haven’t really named some of the

materials we use yet and so I thought since

I was mentioning what I would like to do

get accomplished I would just give the

names most of the books we use. I didn’t

realize that it was a whole lotta stuff. I’m

really not that good at homeschooling yet!

However, I am proud to say we got quite a

bit accomplished. Spelling test (only 1 wrong

out of 27! she forgot to check her work

before handing it in), Bible, Math, most of the 

Geography/Science worksheets, some

Language workbook, lunch, and some

Analogies workbook. There were also some

‘character building’ moments in between

there that took up some time too.

 

Now, I have an obvious advantage. I have ONE

child who is about to be 13. I can mostly send

her to the table and have her work independently

until she has a question. It works even better

if I explain her work to her or have her tell

me if she understands itBEFORE I leave

her/send her off.

 

Truth be told, it was a struggle to keep her on

task at times(insert ‘character building’ moment).

There were a few times where I was doing

something so she thought she wouldn’t be doing

anything.

That has been an issue in the past

that we are making efforts to HALT. My situation

doesn’t really allow for ‘time out’ to character

train so we are just plowing ahead and as it arises,

pause for tweaking. It is actually good I think

because of Kayla’s age. 

 

To Kayla’s credit she was down here at 8:30 ready

for the day-and breakfast-just as we had

requested the night before. No attitude either.

Right now she is doing her Math independently and quietly. SCORE 1  FOR THE HOME TEAM!!!!!

 

 

Well, I better get to some of my list of  things.

Have a great day all!

Traci 🙂                                                             

                                                                                                                         

 

 

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